I awoke this lovely New Year's Eve morning to the sound of guns blasting and people screaming. I could soon hear the police reading somebody their Miranda rights.
So, maybe I failed to mention that the blasts were mostly mouthed sounds and the guns were Nerf guns, but either way, I decided to roll out of bed. With shootings going on the house, I thought it would be best if I was sneaky, so I slid against the dark walls of the bathroom, through the laundry room and then peaked into the living room. Officer Kyler was putting criminal-Mae into couch-jail as Officer Kenny stood nearby with a gun pointed at her, just in case. Once she was securely...well, secured, they decided to go look for other criminals. Kenny said he thought he'd heard one coming from "that direction" (points toward our bedroom) and they took off, Kenny limping from a leg wound he endured when Mae shot him while she resisted arrest.
As the brave and noble policemen exited the room from the north, I slinked in from the south and committed my very first ever jail break. Except things didn't go as I planned and I made too much noise as I laughed insanely while abetting my partner in crime. The two officers were able to shoot me straight in the heart at least three times and I fell to my shocked death (of course, only after seeing Mae make her great escape). And this is pretty much how every day has gone since I started my 'Staycation' and the kids began their Christmas breaks from school. Kenny has received many 'surprise' days off of work and we have been having the time of our lives with all of our the kids' new Christmas gifts.
Being the last day of the year and all, this is typically where I would type out my resolutions for the upcoming year. I've been thinking and thinking and I just don't have anything major to resolve. I suppose I resolve to be happy? And be fair? And live? And laugh? And love? Just like every day? Last night, Kenny got on the subject of resolutions and said that maybe this is the year that he will quit smoking (we call this a reoccurring resolution). So he will "quit" smoking and I will just love him no matter how many times he sneaks out the back door and leaves it hanging wide open for the cold air to filter in. As the smell of smoke wafts throughout the entire house and fills my lungs (gag), I will remember to be fair. I used to be a smoker. I did the same thing. So there it is. My resolution is to endure Kenny's soon-to-be failed resolution with kindness and endearment. (Not that I don't think he can't quit smoking, but he's already started in on the "after this pack" and then "no, after the next pack"...and we have maybe been through this thirteen-thousand times already.
It's a great day to be me. Heck, it's a great month...no, YEAR to be me. My most recent biggest problems consist of: I can't find the nail clippers. Seriously, life is just so very good. I either endured some horrid multi-tragedies in my last life, or I'm in for it in my next life. Either way, all I can do in this life is smile and try not to wonder too much why that saying 'Life is Good' pertains so much to me.
So, what have the Bigley's been up to? Well, I'll tell you.
Kenny enjoys entertaining me in the mornings and early afternoons with a series of song and dance, including but not limited to: his best high-pitched woman-voice, enthusiastic clapping and foot-stomping, exaggerated facial expressions and on special occasions, he parodies songs to fit the moment. And sometimes he even has a dance partner (poor kitty). I'm not sure what he's so darn excited about lately, but I'm happy that he's happy.
Kyler continues to do thorough research on every rock, animal and plant that he crosses paths with. For the longest time (I'm talking years), I really just assumed that when he called animals by their actual names, he was simply making these names up as I had mostly never heard of them. But now he checks out books at the library just to prove to me that these names are not just in his head. Huh. Who knew?
Mae, like Kenny, has been very sing-songy and dancy lately. You should hear how her voice roars throughout the house during bath time! Somehow, she thinks that nobody can hear her. When she walks out of the bathroom and we all start singing the song that she'd been singing in the shower, she looks shocked and says something like, "That is SO weird because I was just singing that song in the bathroom!" She has also been very busy creating and wrapping Christmas presents for Kenny and me. Her room has been strictly off-limits for nearly two weeks now. She has smuggled a roll of last year's wrapping paper and the underneath of our Christmas tree is quickly filling up with gifts that are the size of an 8x10 sheet of printer paper. I get the feeling that my entire Christmas morning will be filled with me opening up gift after gift of sheets of paper that say, "I love you!"...but I'm quite okay with that.
The Dogs Bigley have a new home...the OUTDOORS!! On Thanksgiving, they thought it wise to eat nearly one-hundred cookies that Mae and I lovingly made and had sitting across the counter tops. This is not the first time this has happened. Nor the second. Nor third. I was so angry when I woke up in the morning that I immediately drove to Tractor Supply Co., purchased fence, wire cutters, wire, cement mix, fence posts and a post driver and worked my butt off all the long weekend. Oddly enough, they seem quite happy out there...except when a bunny hops by just out of their reach.
And me, well, I already told you that I'm doing just swell. I have some pretty big surprises in store for Christmas this year. As for Kenny's big super-secret surprise that I posted about a while back...well, the kids told him what it was. I was a little bummed when Kenny told me that they'd spilled the secret until he said, "It'll be nice to have a push mower to get to the places the rider can't reach." One: that's a total lie. There's no place in our yard where the rider doesn't reach that a push mower could get to. And two: I didn't get him a mower. What brilliant children I have!! Kenny wouldn't quit hounding them about what I got him, so they totally lied and it completely threw him off.
That's it for now. Twenty short days until Christmas and I will be ba-humbuggin' if we don't get some snow soon!
