Crappy Diem

When I was in middle school, the kid that sat next to me in English class was so inspired by the phrase 'Carpe Diem' that he decided to write it on the paper bag cover of his English book.  Except, he wasn't a strong speller, so what he actually wrote was:  Crape Diem.  Every time I saw it, I thought to myself: Crappy Diem; seize the shitty day.  And quite honestly, that is pretty fitting.

I missed work this morning because my boss said he would text me between 4:30 and 5am if I was needed.  Instead, the text came in at 5:38 (zoom in on face shot of me sleeping) and I was expected to be there in 30 minutes (which is how long it takes me to drive there).

It bugged me...for about one minute.  Then, I realized that I'd done nothing wrong and there is no reason for me to worry about it.  I brewed a pot of coffee, turned the music up loud and danced around the kitchen with Kenny in between him getting ready for work and me doing the dishes.  And that's that.  If my boss texts me at 5:38 tomorrow, I will probably be asleep then, too.

Kyler is on an amazing hiking trip in Idaho with my brother.  He is supposed to come back a man.  I snapped a photo of him before he left and when he asked why, I said, "This is your before-man photo.  I'll take another when you get home for comparison."  Then Mae also took a picture of him and said, "In case you die, I'll have the last picture ever taken of you."  Ah, sibling love.  We are all excited for him to come home and tell us of his great adventure (probably in two sentences or less) and see his fully grown beard and new facial scars.  At least that's what I'm expecting.

Kyler in Idaho.

Kyler sends a daily request for photos of his pets. Admittedly, I have wasted hours taking pictures this week.

With Kyler gone and Kenny at work all day, Mae and I have been finding fun stuff to do.  For example, we did over four hours of yard work on Monday.  Seriously, we LOVE this stuff.  When we're both outside working together, we just keep coming up with more and more ideas.  We don't quit working until we are hunched over with back pain, have multiple slivers stuck into our arms and blisters are forming on our hands.  It's really a beautiful thing.

The product of a whole lot of yard work.

Calling all porch-sitters:  our porch is ready to be sat on.

• And now, this brave mom must wake the Sleeping Teenage Beauty from her slumber, armed with breakfast and pepper spray (just in case things turn ugly).  I hope everybody reading this finds a way to seize the shitty day!

My new workout plan is in full swing.

I got called in to work on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  Here is an overview of the evening shift:  it's like helping your friend move on a hot day.  Except they have 1,000 boxes.  And they move every day.  Instead of bringing pizza and beer, they direct deposit money into your account next Friday.  Strange friend.

But seriously, I love it.  It is the BEST workout plan I've found.  The mechanic is housed in the same area and plays good music, while the supervisor declares mandatory popsicle breaks.  And as a bonus, I will probably look like this in a month or so:

Okay, that was supposed to be funny but is actually traumatic.  That is my face on the photo.  Why does it look so natural?  Guess I better go cut my hair and find some bronzer...

Life after vacation

We've been back from vacation for two weeks now.  Fine, I'll unpack.

Vacation was perfect.  Kenny and I, along with the kids and nephew Max, drove to Colorado for a couple days, then on to Arizona for a few.  Next was Utah and then back to Colorado, finding fun all along the way.  Almost everything we did (besides eat and sleep in hotels) was free or costed a daily park pass fee.  And almost everything we did exceeded our expectations.  Every hotel check-in was smooth, we had zero car troubles and four of our five vacation crew were of legal age to drive, so it wasn't too much behind-the-wheel time for any of us.

Here are some vacation photos, so now it's like you basically went with us:

We took a selfie in a cave.  Without a selfie stick.  And it only took one try.  Biggest miracle of the trip!
  

This was at the first gas station we stopped at in CO.  Kenny took one look at it, said, "Nope, we're going somewhere else," and turned the car around.

These are out of order.  Back to the caves and the things Kenny made us climb into...

Bishop Castle, Pueblo, CO

We'll title this 'The Long Walk Back.'

4 Bigley's in 4 states. If you look closely, you will see that Mae is in ALL of the states.  Overachiever!

This is where we spent Kyler's 16th birthday.

Making friends in Winslow.

Mae at the Grand Canyon.  She spent much of the trip trying to give me a heart attack.

And now back to reality.  Good news: I got the job I wanted.  I am the newest Preloader at UPS.  The supervisor called me on Kyler's birthday for a second interview.  This is how I learned that I have better phone reception standing in a canyon in rural Arizona than I have at my own house.  Or driveway.  Or really anywhere in Nebraska. 

I am on-call for this week.  Thanks to Amazon deeming this 'Prime Week', they are simply too busy to train me.  I did get a shift Thursday so I guess that will be my official first day, unless they call me in sooner.  The job has been described to me as "a 4-hour workout that you get paid for."  Normally, I would be ecstatic about that, but the way I've been living my life this summer (eat EVERYTHING, run NEVER) has me worried that I will just fall over dead.  Guess there's only one way to find out!  If I never blog again, you will know what the outcome was.