It's morning, not mourning.

Today is day three of Kenny's new job and we've found a downside.  See, in his entire working life, Kenny has only worked a couple months here and there on first shift.  Besides that, it's always been second or third, where he was never awakened by an alarm clock and was allowed ample time to lay idly in bed before actually having to get up.  And as it turns out, Kenny is NOT a morning person.

Monday, 5am:  I flip on the light and tell Kenny to get up.  5:15am:  I again tell Kenny that it's time t:o wake up.  5:30am:  I yell because I'm getting tired of walking from my desk to the bedroom.  It's a long walk (it's not).  This time, I hear a groan and a whimper.  6am:  I hear the shower turn on, FINALLY.  Kenny spends the next thirty minutes running wildly through the house, trying to locate everything he needs and complaining that I didn't "make him" get up earlier.  He barely makes it to work on time on his very first day

Tuesday, 5am:  I flip the light switch on and off for one minute.  Nothing.  I sprint to the bed, hop on and tickle-torture Kenny.  He begs for mercy and makes me believe that my plan has worked and he is getting out of bed.  I back off and he glares at me, then angrily pulls the blankets over his head.  5:15am and on:  repeat Monday.  He barely makes it to work on time on his very second day.

Wednesday, 5am:  I flip on the light, hop onto the bed and serenade Kenny with made-up-on-the-spot songs about himself waking up and having the best day ever.  I rip the blankets off of him as the grand finale.  He retrieves the blankets, pulls them back over his head and I think I hear him crying.  5:15am and on:  repeat Monday and Tuesday.  He barely makes it to work on time on his very third day. I'm sensing a pattern here...

As you can see, drastic measures must be taken.  Nothing seems to be working and we just can't have him running around like a chicken with his head cut off each morning, though the kids do find it quite entertaining.  Tomorrow, I'm thinking about running into the bedroom at 5am with the fire extinguisher in my hands, screaming frantically that the house is on fire and I can't find the kids, then running back out.  That's sure to work.  While it might scare him into partial heart attack, he will probably not force me to wake him in such a way ever again.  Also, he's still young and will probably bounce back just fine. 

I would  like to add one final note here.  Kenny and I go to bed at the SAME time.  I get up approximately every two hours in the night to use the restroom while non-pregnant Kenny snores away.  Every single morning at 4am, my alarm clock rings one time.  I get up without complaint, without coaxing from another human and without a circus needing to happen in my bedroom.  I just don't see what's so difficult about it.