Kenny: “Watch out for that turtle.”
Me: “What?”
Kenny: “You’re about to run over…never mind, you just ran over a turtle. You NEVER pay attention to anything!”
I turned the corner and parallel parked in record time (under three minutes…I mean record time for me). We all jumped out of the car and the kids ran furiously toward the street where the apparent turtle-flattening took place.
Kenny was boasting on and on about how many innocent animals I had killed by simply not paying attention. I kept my mouth shut because it was probably true. I prefer to enjoy the scenery, rather than keeping a constant watch on the pavement and swerving to miss minuscule animals crossing my path.
As we neared the turtle, we became quickly aware that I was not a murderer. I had, however, flattened a perfectly good can of Skoal Tobacco.
On the way home, I ran over a McDonald’s bag and exclaimed, “Oh NO! A raccoon!” Kenny just didn’t see the humor in it like the rest of us did.
You are a trash murdering meanie!
ReplyDeleteHA! I'm going to think about this every time I drive over something in the street. Which, like you, I do often. OMG! PICKLES!! NOOO! What? Oh, that was just a wet Bag 'N Save plastic sack? Whoops.
ReplyDelete