It seems that I have taken a long and unexpected break from my blog. Vegas will do that to you. Somehow, I was the sole person in all of Nevada with no internet access. I'm still not sure why that happened. And as much as I'd love to blog about the time I spent there, I can't. The slogan says so.
It's good to be home. I missed my kids, my house, my dogs, my cats...and my PILLOW. I've never been a fan of the smothering pillows piled across the beds at hotels. No matter which way I lay, I can't seem to breathe and that just so happens to be very necessary. And to let my pillow know just how happy I was to be home, I gave it a good hug and then slept like the dead for twelve hours straight. Vegas will do that to you, too.
Kenny is pretty darn proud of the ten pounds he gained while away. It is the most weight he has gained in all the years I've known him, including the six months he added weight-gainer milkshakes to two meals per day. Yeah, I know...poor guy. He is putting in great effort to ensure the weight stays with him by spending much idle time on the couch with a collage of potato chips, lil' smokies and Nutrageous bars on his lap. I, on the other hand, gained an equal amount of weight so while he is sitting on the couch coveting his new found fat (which is really just a slightly swelled six-pack), I am running and sweating and crying and dying on the treadmill, regretting every last calorie of last week's margaritas and endless buffets.
Settling back into normal life, Mae asked me sweetly if I would paint her left-handed fingernails today. I agreed. As I touched the polish brush to the first nail, she jumped back and screamed, "OOOUuuuuCHHH!!! She gave me a very stern look and told me to be more careful. While stunned, I agreed, though I had no idea what I'd done to hurt her. So I slowly and gently pressed the brush to her nail again...and AGAIN she jumped back and yelled, "OW!! MOM!!! WHY DO YOU KEEP HURTING ME?!!" I was completely baffled. I apologized profusely and told her that I didn't mean to hurt her and if she'd just tell me how I was hurting her, I'd make sure it didn't happen again. She said, "Well, it BETTER not." And then, she smiled just a little and said very quietly, "Man, you can never tell when I'm joking." She was SO pleased with herself.
The neighbors' dogs have been spending a great deal of time in our yard this week. Since I am not a fan of german shepards, I have basically not left the house. Common sense would tell me to just release our dogs outdoors to 'take care of the situation', but not me. No. Instead, I release the Kenny. It is much more entertaining. He runs after them, barking and growling. He even chased one around the entire pond a couple days ago. I sat in the window with a bag of popcorn and enjoyed every second of it. And he gets the job done. Those dogs go right home...except the one that was so terrified of him that she couldn't find her way home, so she went and sat outside of the gate for the duration of the day. Kenny has officially claimed his spot as 'Alpha Dog' in our strange little country neighborhood. Add that to his new fat and he's a pretty happy camper these days.
And that's about it. I have too many thoughts in my head that have yet to be un-jumbled so until that happens, I'll just call it good.
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