Know how I know it's cold outside?

I survived my first Halloween at the 911 Center and it wasn't as brutal as I'd mentally prepared myself for.  In fact, I read nineteen chapters in my book.  And here's what else happened:

I sat next to Supervisor for four of the twelve hours I worked.  About an hour in, two cops walked by right as I was inhaling a deep (and very agitated) breath and I said aloud to Supervisor, "They smell like cold.  It must be cold outside."  With his best you're-a-fucking-idiot look, he said, "It smells cold?  You can't smell cold."  I simply replied, "Yes I can.  I just did."  Supervisor asked, "And what does cold smell like?" Before thinking, I replied, "Just...cold."  Then, with a second thought and a good head-nod, I said,  "It smells below freezing."  Supervisor says, "Oh, and you can even smell how cold it is?"  And this look he was giving me was exactly how my fourth grade teacher always looked at me.  You have no idea what you're saying.  Your thinking isn't right.  You are confusing and odd. 

It was at this point that the two cops walked past us again and Supervisor pointed toward one while still looking at me and said, "Well, it can't be that cold out because he's wearing short sleeves."  As if he knew the whole conversation, Cop stopped and said, "Actually, I just took my coat off.  It's like twenty-six degrees outside."  Right.  And this was the end of the conversation.  Or so I thought...

An hour later, I grabbed an ice-cold soda out of the fridge as my break ended and headed back to my desk.  As I sat down, Supervisor cleared his throat in such a way that I knew he was trying to get my attention.  I looked toward him and with an overdose of sarcasm, he asked, "Can you smell how cold your soda is?"  I gave him a very quizzical look and asked, "Why would I do that when I can feel how cold it is?" And this was the real end of the conversation.  For the remainder of our night together, Supervisor would look over at me every so often and slowly shake his head.  His thoughts were so obvious that it was almost like reading a book.  I have given up on you.  There is no hope for you.

This happens to me a lot.  I'm mostly just surprised that it took three whole months before somebody figured me out.  I always feel like a fraud when people talk to me like I'm a normal person who thinks normal thoughts and lives in a normal house and leads a normal life.  If I try to explain to new people that none of this is true, they just laugh and say something like, "There's no such thing as normal!"  And thank goodness for that, I suppose.  But they just don't understand until one day, they suddenly do and they look at me like I've purposely been trying to fool them and I'm just like, "I warned you!"
It is now time to drive my normal car to my normal job where I can smell the cold and read books.  If using my senses makes me look senseless, oh well.  At least I know when to put on a jacket before I step outside.  (P.S, - put your coat on before you go outside; it's cold).